Clean Fun

Clever One Liners

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.

Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Error, no keyboard -- press F1 to continue.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Hard work has a future payoff. - Laziness pays off now.

What is a 'free' gift? - Aren't all gifts free?

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Old soldiers never die; young ones do.

If you're right 98% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

All's well that ends.